Alcohol and Calculus Don’t Mix: Never Drink and Derive.

Boy, am I glad that the hole is in your end of the boat.

Why is it we drive on a parkway but park in a driveway?

Life is tough, but it’s tougher if you’re stupid.

If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it. -Joseph Goebbels-

Christianity, if false, is of no importance, and if true, of infinite importance. The only thing it cannot be is moderately important. -C. S. Lewis-

When the people find that they can vote themselves money, that will herald the end of the republic. -Benjamin Franklin-

Reiser’s Law: Software is getting slower more rapidly than hardware becomes faster.

Most jobs are mind numbing, except for teachers whose job it is to numb minds.

A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.