The Constitution only gives people the right to pursue happiness. You have to catch it yourself. -Benjamin Franklin-

A good cemetery? This is a great cemetery! People are just dying to get in!

To find out a girl’s faults, praise her to her girl friends. -Benjamin Franklin-

Theory is when you know everything but nothing works. Practice is when everything works but no one knows why. In our lab, theory and practice are combined. Nothing works and no one knows why.

In theory, theory and practice are the same. In practice, they are not. -Yogi Bera-

I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it left.

If God had wanted us to use the metric system, he would have chosen TEN disciples.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

One tequila, two tequila, three tequila, floor.

Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than going to McDonald’s makes you a hamburger.