I took a speed reading course and read War and Peace in twenty minutes. It involves Russia. -Woody Allen-

New Zealand’s national icon is the kiwi which is a small nocturnal bird that is round and brown, and furry. They should not be confused with kiwi fruit, which is also round and brown, and furry. New Zealanders are sometimes called Kiwis, and some of us are round and brown, as well. -Paul, tourguide with Toru Tours, Auckland-

If you ever want to lose an argument with a woman, start one. -Leroy Lockhorn, “The Lockhorns”-

I promise you a police car on every sidewalk. -Marion Barry, Mayor of Washington, D.C.-

You can try to understand, but it only hurts.

“Loved the wedding. Invite me to the marriage.” -God-

Don’t bother me right now. I’m having a Microsoft migraine moment.

The future ain’t what it used to be. -Yogi Berra-

No distance of place or lapse of time can lessen the friendship of those who are thoroughly persuaded of each other’s worth. -Robert Southey-

All opinions are not equal. Some are a very great deal more robust, sophisticated and well supported in logic and argument than others. -Douglas Adams-