“Need directions?” -God-

What’s the difference between an elephant and a loaf of bread? Remind me to never send you to the store for a loaf of bread!

Though I’ve belted you and flayed you, By the living Gawd that made you, You’re a better man than I am, Gunga Din! -Rudyard Kipling-

Grandma says she’s seen it all, done it all, and heard it all. She just can’t remember it all. -“Family Circus”-

Pease porridge hot, pease porridge cold, pease porridge in the pot, nine days old. Some like it hot, some like it cold, some like in the pot nine days old.

Politics is the best show in America. I love animals and I love politicians, and I like to watch both of ’em at play, either back home in their native state, or after they’ve been captured and sent to a zoo, or to Washington. -Will Rogers-

Is there in Truth, no beauty?

The exception that occurred was due not to random failure but to a design error. The exception was detected but was handled inappropriately because the view had been taken that software should be considered correct until it is shown to be at fault. The … opposite view [is] that software should be assumed to be faulty until application of the currently accepted best practice methods can demonstrate that it is correct. This means that critical software must be identified at a very detailed level, that exceptional behavior must be confined, and that a reasonable back-up policy must take software failures into account. -Society for Industrial and Applied Mathematics, 1996-

China Clipper calling Alameda.

What’s the difference between an elephant and peanut butter? An elephant won’t stick to the roof of your mouth.