In the first place, God made idiots. That was for practice. Then he made school boards. -Mark Twain-

Rubber baby buggy bumpers.

How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?

Database: the information you lose when your memory crashes. -Dave Barry-

The secretarial staff keeps decks of cards in their desk drawers so they have something to do when the computers go down.

Colorless green ideas sleep furiously. -Noam Chomsky-

And all of a sudden, the audience realized I had a talent. They were right. I did have a talent — and I was married to her for 38 years. -George Burns-

The best teachers are those who show you where to look, but don’t tell you what to see. -A.K. Trenfor-

Anyone who has never made a mistake has never tried anything new. -Albert Einstein-

Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me. Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful, that’s what matters to me. -Steve Jobs-