“That “Love Thy Neighbor” thing…I meant that.” -God-

If two wrongs don’t make a right, what do two wrights make? An airplane!

I haven’t slept for ten days, because that would be too long. -Mitch Hedberg-

For a man with a slow leak in his head, sometimes you think pretty clever. -Capt. B.F. “Hawkeye” Pierce, “M*A*S*H”-

When the devil reminds you of your past, remind him of his future.

What is the difference between hardware and software? Hardware gets faster, cheaper, smaller. Software gets slower, costlier and bigger.

My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never. -Jack Benny-

Airplane travel is nature’s way of making you look like your passport photo. -Al Gore-

It’s not what is in your pocket that makes you thankful. It’s what’s in your heart that makes you thankful. -Fr. Jan Czuba, SVD-

Infertility is hereditary: if your parents didn’t have any children then you probably won’t either.