An oral contract isn’t worth the paper its written on.

You can lead a yak to water, but you can’t teach an old dog to make a silk purse out of a pig in a poke. -Opus, “Bloom County”-

I have never let my schooling interfere with my education. -Mark Twain-

I don’t shop in antique stores. I already have a house full of perfectly good old stuff.

To save time, let’s just assume you know everything.

Never do a wrong thing to make a friend or to keep one. -Robert E. Lee-

The great secret of success is to go through life as a man who never gets used up. -Albert Schweitzer-

I wasn’t trying to do anything. I was just cleaning my slingshot and it went off.

Have you noticed that there is neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

Adde parvum parvo magnus acervus erit. [Add little to little and there will be a big pile.] -Ovid-