Do you think our marriage would make a better sitcom or reality show? -Loretta Lockhorn to Leroy, “The Lockhorns”-

I dreamt that my hair was kempt. Then I dreamt that my true love unkempt it. -Ogden Nash-

I do not believe that the same God who endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect intended us to forgo their use. -Galileo Galilei-

The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax. -Albert Einstein-

Tomorrow’s Forecast: God will reign, the Son will shine. -Hope Lutheran Church, Satsuma, Florida-

A woman must do twice as much as a man to be considered half as good. Fortunately, this is not difficult.

Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn. -C. S. Lewis-

Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning, and nothing worse will happen to you the remainder of the day.

Clarke’s First Law of Prediction: When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is probably wrong.

Education is what remains after one has forgotten what one has learned in school. -Albert Einstein-