O, what a tangled web we weave, When first we practise to deceive! -Walter Scott-

Don’t take any wooden nickels.

I know how to spell bananana but I don’t know when to stop.

Don’t get worked up. It’s only ones and zeros. -frankbell-

Men make counterfeit money; in many more cases, money makes counterfeit men. -Sydney J. Harris-

I didn’t say that I didn’t say it. I said that I didn’t say that I said it. I want to make that very clear. -George Romney-

We are the happiest and most usable when we yield to Christ regardless of our circumstances. -Pat Travis-

If your Internet service is out, visit our web site for helpful information. -Comcast Customer Service-

THUMP! THUMP! Uh, what’re you doing dropping that log on the ground? THUMP! “Chasing away wild elephants.” But there aren’t any wild elephants within a thousand miles of here! THUMP! “Works pretty good, doesn’t it?”

Time travel is real. I did it last Sunday.