I never saw a purple cow, I never hope to see one. But if I had my druthers, I’druther see than be one.

Did ya hear about the lady who was walking alongside the runway and got hit by a plane propeller? Disaster!

Living in Papua New Guinea has spoiled me. I used to think I’d be happy at 74 degrees but now I like it a lot at 80.

As I travel I find a general feeling abroad that Americans are arrogant. I tell my international friends it’s not so much that we are arrogant but simply ignorant.

Ona long God istap antap, na long graun gutpela taim ol manmeri; God i laikim tumas.

The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on my list.

Thank God for the last minute. Otherwise, a lot of stuff wouldn’t get done.

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

I never saw a purple cow, I never hope to see one. But judging from the milk we get, I’m certain there must be one.

Did ya hear the one about the lensmaker who fell into his glass grinding machine and made spectacle of himself?