You can’t learn English from an American. -Capt. “Trapper” John McIntyre, “M*A*S*H”-

Old cartoonists never die, they just erase away. -Mort Walker, “Beetle Bailey”-

What is life? It is the flash of a firefly in the night. It is the breath of a buffalo in the wintertime. It is the little shadow which runs across the grass and loses itself in the sunset. -Crowfoot (Native American warrior and orator)-

I don’t know about ignorance, and I don’t care about apathy, but I absolutely will not put up with intolerance.

Oh, horsefeathers!

You know what Ginger Rogers said: I did everything he did, backward and in heels.

This tape will self-destruct in five seconds.

Love is in the Air … Wait! That’s BBQ! -Brian’s BBQ, Deland, Florida-

I just watched the dogs chase their tails for five minutes. I was thinking, “It must be nice to be that easily entertained.” But then I realized: I just watched dogs chase their tails for five minutes. -“Randy’s Random” by Randy Cassingham-

They say that no two snowflakes are alike. But just who, exactly, keeps track of that?