Remember we’re all in this alone. -Lily Tomlin-

A man is like a fraction whose numerator is what he is and whose denominator is what he thinks of himself. The larger the denominator, the smaller the fraction. -Leo Tolstoy-

I did get a life! This is it! -Leroy Lockhorn, “The Lockhorns”-

The only hope of reward is the cessation of pain.

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms. -Groucho Marx-

Q: In school we learned that the world is round like a ball. So why don’t the people on the bottom fall off? A: You’ve stated a common misconception here. Actually, people are falling off all the time!

Could it be that I don’t make sense because you don’t have a clue? -Loretta Lockhorn, “The Lockhorns”-

Creation has the truth written all over it — the age of the universe, the history of the world — but nine-tenths of mankind either don’t know it or think it’s a sham, because it isn’t what their book or their prophet says, and it isn’t cozy or manipulable enough. -Sheri S. Tepper-

Our children give us the opportunity to become the parents we always wished we had. -Nancy Samalin (“Love and Anger: The Parental Dilemma,” Dec. 1992 Reader’s Digest)-

I advise my students to listen carefully the moment they decide to take no more mathematics courses. They might be able to hear the sound of closing doors. -James Caballero-