A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read. -Mark Twain-

Failure to plan ahead on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.

I gotta have a reason for everything? -Calvin, “Calvin & Hobbes”-

No amount of belief makes something a fact. -James Randi-

Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is! -(Alka Seltzer)-

Ladies and gentlemen, take my advice, pull down your pants and slide on the ice. -Major Sidney Theodore Freedman, “M*A*S*H”-

I never saw a purple cow, I never hope to see one. But if I had my druthers, I’druther see than be one.

Did ya hear about the lady who was walking alongside the runway and got hit by a plane propeller? Disaster!

Living in Papua New Guinea has spoiled me. I used to think I’d be happy at 74 degrees but now I like it a lot at 80.

As I travel I find a general feeling abroad that Americans are arrogant. I tell my international friends it’s not so much that we are arrogant but simply ignorant.