Men forget but never forgive. Women forgive but never forget. -Danielle Keen-

The road to success is always under construction. -Lily Tomlin-

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

A common mistake that people make when trying to design something completely foolproof was to underestimate the ingenuity of complete fools. -Douglas Adams-

The measure of success is not whether you have a tough problem to deal with, but whether it is the same problem you had last year. -Danielle Keen-

A good cemetery? This is a great cemetery! People are just dying to get in!

Power corrupts. Knowledge is power. Study hard. Be evil. -Douglas Adams-

Imagine meeting somebody from a hundred years ago. You show him your smartphone and your tablet computer and explain that they are connected to the Internet, from which all knowledge and wisdom the human race has accumulated can be accessed. He asks you what you do with them, and you say “Well, we look at pictures of kitties and pass along dumb jokes.” -Rev. Bill Olewiler-

Red Sketon’s recipe for the perfect marriage: 4. We always hold hands. If I let go, she shops.

It is known that there are an infinite number of worlds, simply because there is an infinite amount of space for them to be in. However, not every one of them is inhabited. Any finite number divided by infinity is as near nothing as makes no odds, so the average population of all the planets in the Universe can be said to be zero. From this it follows that the population of the whole Universe is also zero, and that any people you may meet from time to time are merely products of a deranged imagination. -Douglas Adams-