Thank God for the last minute. Otherwise, a lot of stuff wouldn’t get done.

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

I never saw a purple cow, I never hope to see one. But judging from the milk we get, I’m certain there must be one.

Did ya hear the one about the lensmaker who fell into his glass grinding machine and made spectacle of himself?

The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad. -Salvador Dali-

The large print giveth, and the small print taketh away. -Tom Waits-

Work as if you don’t need the money, Love as if you’ve never been hurt, Dance as if no one is watching.

The assertion that “all men are created equal” was of no practical use in effecting our separation from Great Britain and it was placed in the Declaration not for that, but for future use. -Abraham Lincoln-

Where liberty dwells, there is my country. -Benjamin Franklin-

Every human activity, good or bad, except mathematics, must come to an end. -Paul Erdos-