When in doubt, punt.

If a parsley farmer is sued, do they garnish his wages? Only if he loses.

Is it possible to be totally partial? No, but it’s possible to be partially total.

I want to die in my sleep like Grandpa, not like the screaming passengers in his car.

Why is it we drive on a parkway but park in a driveway?

Most jobs are mind numbing, except for teachers whose job it is to numb minds.

Boy, am I glad that the hole is in your end of the boat.

If you tell a lie big enough and keep repeating it, people will eventually come to believe it. -Joseph Goebbels-

We are not human beings having a spiritual experience; we are spiritual beings having a human experience. -Pierre Teilhard de Chardin-

Reiser’s Law: Software is getting slower more rapidly than hardware becomes faster.