Bob Hope on turning 90: “You know you are getting old when the candles cost more than the cake.”

Hey… What if the hokey pokey is what it’s all about? -Pat Travis-

Certainty? In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes. -Benjamin Franklin-

Simplicity is prerequisite for reliability. -Edsger W. Dijkstra-

If we judge by wealth and power, our times are the best of times; if the times have made us willing to judge by wealth and power, they are the worst of times. -Randall Jarrell-

That’s how I learned to dance. Waiting for the bathroom. -Bob Hope (on having six brothers)-

I would not have had anything to eat if it wasn’t for the stuff the audience threw at me. -Bob Hope (on his early years)-

I ruined my hands in the ring. The referee kept stepping on them. -Bob Hope (on giving up his boxing career)-

I have performed for 12 presidents but entertained only six. -Bob Hope-

Golf is my profession. Show business is just to pay the green fees. -Bob Hope-