Hardware: where the people in your company’s software section will tell you the problem is. Software: where the people in your company’s hardware section will tell you the problem is. -Dave Barry-

If I’ve learned anything today, it’s that if you go to the hair stylist or the fancy Kroger without a plan, you end up with Joan Jett/Carol Brady hair and a whole lot of food and nothing to eat. -Jenn Hilgeman-

There are three kinds of lies: lies, damned lies, and statistics. -Benjamin Disraeli-

Don’t you folks ever read your Bibles? -Dr. John G. Mitchell-

Don’t laugh, it only encourages him.

Colorless green ideas sleep furiously. -Noam Chomsky-

I always like to look on the optimistic side of life, but I am realistic enough to know that life is a complex matter. -Walt Disney-

See that green light up there? You’d better slow down, it might turn red. In fact, I’ve found if you slow down enough almost all of them turn red before you get there.

I saved a ton of money on black Friday. I stayed home. -Ed W. Visser-

The only thing that I know is that I do not know anything. -Dominic Macri Kayatta-