We can never say we gave him freedom, for freedom is not man’s to give. We can only take it away. -Jacques Cousteau-

A lot can happen in three days. -Holy Saturday marquee message, Telogia Assembly of God, Telogia, Florida-

I like the manatees, for we have a lot in common. I like it never colder than 20C, and I like natural unspoiled Florida enjoyed at a leisurely pace. -Cutlass 43k-

A I am not a Florida native. The Florida manatee is. -Cutlass 43k-

Old West Viginian to son: Me‘n’ ma are fixin’ to go into town to do some tradin.’ Son: That’s not correct, Pa. “Fixing” means repairing. Pa: That’s what I sed — we’re repairin’ to go.

Why did West Virginia disband its water polo team? All the horses drowned.

Last year, an artist sold an invisible sculpture for a lot of cash. It seems you can sell anything, even nothing, for thousands of dollars if you wrap it in quantum mechanics and tie it with a string of theology. -Anu Garg-

The Apalchicola River is named from two native words which mean roughly, The people on the side are friendly. “How do you get there from here?” You can’t get there from here. “Then how did the people over there get there?” They went down to the bridge first and crossed over.

Did you hear about the $3 million West Virginia state lottery? The winner gets three dollars a year for one million years.

Everyone, in some small sacred sanctuary of the self, is nuts. -Leo Rosten-