Newsgroups: alt.discordia
Path: news.rmc.ca!news.ccs.queensu.ca!torn!howland.reston.ans.net!cs.utexas.edu!swrinde!ihnp4.ucsd.edu!library.ucla.edu!psgrain!agora!agora.rdrop.com!mcnalley
From: mcnalley@agora.rdrop.com (James E. Mcnalley)
Subject: How to blow things up
Nntp-Posting-Host: agora.rdrop.com
Sender: news@agora.rdrop.com (USENET News)
Organization: RainDrop Laboratories
Date: Tue, 17 May 1994 13:48:48 GMT
X-Newsreader: TIN [version 1.2 PL2]
Message-ID: Cpy91D.A35@agora.rdrop.com
Lines: 29

Yesterday, I figured out how to blow things up. It is actually quite simple. First, take a pencil and set it down on a table. Now, you need some way to instantaneously accelerate it to 186,282 miles/sec (in a vacuum, if you happen to have one). If you manage to do that, the pencil will move an infinitesimal distance before it starts to go back in time. Once it goes back in time, since it is in nearly the same position that it used to be in, it will blow up. Either that, or you will have two pencils fused together. The interesting thing about this is that the pencil will explode before you first accelerate it! So, all you must do is be able to accelerate it, and then decide to. You don’t actually have to accleerate it (you can’t, since it would go back in time and destroy itself, leaving you with a handfull of splinters).

I believe that this happens in nature, or at least with domestic animals. To demonstrate this, you must have a dog and some water. Apply the water to the dog so that the dog is soaking wet. Quickly stand back. The dog will now realize that it is wet, and start to rotate back and forth quickly. This small amount of motion near the center of its body will be amplified at the end of the dog’s fur, and the (wet) fur will be accelerated to the appropriate speed. Once the dog is finished shaking, you will notice that the fur is *ALL* FLUFFY*! it is not stuck to the dog like when it was wet. This is because all the water and some of the ends of the fur exploded! Compare the dry dog’s fur to the exploded pencil.

—
James McNalley | “I have never let my schooling interfere with my
JEM Computer Consulting | education” -Mark Twain
mcnalley@agora.rdrop.com| “Live free or die” -New Hampshire motto
Portland, OR |
Path: news.rmc.ca!news.ccs.queensu.ca!torn!howland.reston.ans.net!vixen.cso.uiuc.edu!prairienet.org!lartigue
From: lartigue@prairienet.org (Dave A. Lartigue)
Newsgroups: alt.discordia
Subject: Re: How to blow things up
Date: 17 May 1994 18:21:54 GMT
Organization: University of Illinois at Urbana
Lines: 20
Message-ID: 2rb202$1ct@vixen.cso.uiuc.edu
References: Cpy91D.A35@agora.rdrop.com
Reply-To: lartigue@prairienet.org (Dave A. Lartigue)
NNTP-Posting-Host: firefly.prairienet.org

In a previous article, mcnalley@agora.rdrop.com (James E. Mcnalley) says:

>     Yesterday, I figured out how to blow things up. It is actually quite simple. First, take a pencil and set it down on a table. Now,

There is an easier way. Simply tear the pencil in half. Then take one of the halves and tear it in half. Continune until you only have one atom. The next tear will produce a very satisfying explosion.

I recommend only doing this at home. I was demonstrating this to a co-worker with a stapler and was fired for the resulting explosion.

Dave

—

Dave A. Lartigue || I’m so wired, even my PGP public key is private!