Winston, if you were my husband, I’d put poison in your coffee. -Nancy Astor- Nancy, if you were my wife I’d drink it. -Winston Churchill-

Women are to blame for the lies men tell when they keep on asking questions.

You know you are in trouble when a swamp starts looking familiar.

I don’t suffer from insanity. I’m loving every minute of it.

Unless you are the lead dog, the view never changes.

Batten down the hatches! (But sir, we already did.) Well, batten them down again. We’ll teach those hatches!

Ambition is a poor excuse for not having enough sense to be lazy.

We may be lost but we’re making good time. I don’t know where we’re going but we’re getting there pretty fast.

There does not now, nor will there ever exist, a programming language in which it is the least bit hard to write bad programs. -Lawrence Flon-

I’m cold sober but I expect I’ll get over it. -Otis Campbell, “The Andy Griffith Show”-