What did the one earthquake say to the other earthquake? “It’s not my fault.” -Jenn Hilgeman-

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat it or play with it just pee on it and walk away.

It is chiefly through books that we enjoy intercourse with superior minds. -William Ellery Channing-

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. -Mae West-

What we have here is a failure to communicate.

O innocent victims of Cupid, / Remember this terse little verse: / To let a fool kiss you is stupid, / To let a kiss fool you is worse. -Yip Harburg-

When two opposite points of view are expressed with equal intensity, the truth does not necessarily lie exactly halfway between them. It is possible for one side to be simply wrong. -Richard Dawkins-

A B C D goldfish. L M N O goldfish. O S A R

Downstairs: Didn’t you hear me pounding on the ceiling at 3 a.m. this morning? Upstairs: Oh, that’s okay. I was up anyway, practising my tuba.

Me: You disagree with everything I say. You: No, I don’t!