I don’t shop in antique stores. I already have a house full of perfectly good old stuff.

To save time, let’s just assume you know everything.

Never do a wrong thing to make a friend or to keep one. -Robert E. Lee-

The great secret of success is to go through life as a man who never gets used up. -Albert Schweitzer-

I wasn’t trying to do anything. I was just cleaning my slingshot and it went off.

Have you noticed that there is neither apple nor pine in pineapple.

Adde parvum parvo magnus acervus erit. [Add little to little and there will be a big pile.] -Ovid-

I’m avoiding having a midlife crisis by repeatedly entering adolescence.

Gun control means being able to hit your target.

When police arrest a mime, do they tell him he has the right to remain silent?