I can never be satisfied with anyone who would be blockhead enough to have me. -Abraham Lincoln-

Do you think our marriage would make a better sitcom or reality show? -Loretta Lockhorn to Leroy, “The Lockhorns”-

I dreamt that my hair was kempt. Then I dreamt that my true love unkempt it. -Ogden Nash-

I do not believe that the same God who endowed us with sense, reason, and intellect intended us to forgo their use. -Galileo Galilei-

The hardest thing to understand in the world is the income tax. -Albert Einstein-

Tomorrow’s Forecast: God will reign, the Son will shine. -Hope Lutheran Church, Satsuma, Florida-

A woman must do twice as much as a man to be considered half as good. Fortunately, this is not difficult.

Experience: that most brutal of teachers. But you learn, my God do you learn. -C. S. Lewis-

Eat a live toad the first thing in the morning, and nothing worse will happen to you the remainder of the day.

Clarke’s First Law of Prediction: When a distinguished but elderly scientist states that something is possible, he is almost certainly right. When he states that something is impossible, he is probably wrong.