They don’t make things like they used to. They never did.

Gun control means being able to hit your target.

I can only please one person a day. Today is not your day. Tomorrow’s not looking good, either.

Money spent on “togetherness” will yield many more benefits than an additional piece of furniture or a new automobile. A woman finds life much more enjoyable if she knows she is the sweetheart, not just the wife, of her husband. -Dr. James Dobson-

WHACK! I could’a had a V8.

Never let your sense of morals get in the way of doing what’s right. -Isaac Asimov-

Friends don’t let friends drink Starbucks. -Dunkin Donuts-

There are two major types of lava in the world of vulcanology: ‘a’a and pahoehoe. Both of these words come from the Hawai’ian language.

What, me worry? -Alfred E. Neuman-

People are basically stupid. Give them a chance, and they’ll prove it every time.