God does not owe you the breath you just exhaled.

Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.

“Keep using my name in vain, I’ll make rush hour longer.” -God-

Only two things are infinite, the universe and human stupidity, and I am not sure about the former. -Albert Einstein-

Imagine meeting somebody from a hundred years ago. You show him your smartphone and your tablet computer and explain that they are connected to the Internet, from which all knowledge and wisdom the human race has accumulated can be accessed. He asks you what you do with them, and you say “Well, we look at pictures of kitties and pass along dumb jokes.” -Rev. Bill Olewiler-

I was going to procrastinate, but I kept putting it off.

Real programmers don’t document. If it was hard to write, it should be hard to understand.

There is a theory which states that if ever for any reason anyone discovers what exactly the Universe is for and why it is here it will instantly disappear and be replaced by something even more bizarre and inexplicable. There is another that states that this has already happened. -Douglas Adams-

Those who cast the votes decide nothing. Those who count the votes decide everything. -Josef Stalin-

If Al Gore invented the Internet, I invented spell check. -Dan Quayle-