Every time I start thinking too much about how I look, I just find a Happy Hour and by the time I leave, I look just fine.

I don’t care what’s trending. I want a grilled cheese sandwhich. -Leroy Lockhorn, “The Lockhorns”-

They say that doing some walking can add 5 minutes to your life for every day you do it. This can enable you, at 85 years old, to spend up to an additional eight months in a nursing home at $11,000 per month.

Each generation goes further than the generation preceding it because it stands on the shoulders of that generation. You will have opportunities beyond anything we’ve ever known. -Ronald Reagan-

As for me, I would rather have seated beside me in this chamber a polygamist who doesn’t polyg than a monogamist who doesn’t monag. -Boies Penrose-

The best way to predict the future is to invent it. -Alan Kay-

Parenting is a journey from management to consultant, if you’re lucky. -Noah benShea-

I’d like to say I wish I understood your reasoning, but I don’t. It’s easier.

A scapegoat is almost as good as a solution.

Just for today, I will not sit in my living room all day in my underwear. Instead, I will move my computer into the bedroom.