The assertion that “all men are created equal” was of no practical use in effecting our separation from Great Britain and it was placed in the Declaration not for that, but for future use. -Abraham Lincoln-

If you are supposed to learn from your mistakes, why do some people have more than one child?

How can they tell? -Dorothy Parker (on being informed that Calvin Coolidge was dead)-

The only difference between me and a madman is that I am not mad. -Salvador Dali-

The large print giveth, and the small print taketh away. -Tom Waits-

Civil War: Why didn’t you whip the Confederates in sixty days, as you said you would? -British man- Because we found we had Americans to fight this time, not Englishmen. -Henry Ward Beecher-

A lady walked up and said to Calvin Coolidge “I’ve bet my husband I can make you say 3 words this evening” to which he replied “You lose.”

Three things are certain … Death, taxes, and lost data … Guess which has occurred. (error messages in haiku)

All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?

You can trust your car to the man who wears the star.