These are sad times when TV personalities can’t be trusted any more than banks. -Larry, of Larry, Darryl and Darryl, “Newhart”-

Set your phasers on Stun. (Captain, the tricorder reports all the inhabitants of this planet are beautiful women.) In that case, set your phasers on Caress.

Ooey Gooey was a worm / Ooey Gooey loved to squirm / One day, Ooey Gooey got stepped on / OOEY GOOEY!

It is my opinion that art lost its basic creative drive the moment it was separated from worship. It severed an umbilical cord and now lives its own sterile life, generating and degenerating itself. In former days the artist remained unknown and his work was to the glory of God…. The ability to create was a gift. In such a world flourished invulnerable assurance and natural humility. -Ingmar Bergman-

Every child has a right to be well-born, well-nurtured and well-taught, and only the freedom of woman can guarantee him this right. -Helen Keller-

I advise my students to listen carefully the moment they decide to take no more mathematics courses. They might be able to hear the sound of closing doors. -James Caballero-

Could it be that I don’t make sense because you don’t have a clue? -Loretta Lockhorn, “The Lockhorns”-

How to defeat terrorism? Don’t be terrorized. Don’t let fear rule your life. -Salman Rushdie-

Why is it you have no trouble remembering that you forgot something, but you can never remember what you forgot? -Ed Crankshaft, “Crankshaft”-