What’s the difference between an elephant and peanut butter? An elephant won’t stick to the roof of your mouth.

“Follow me.” -God-

“One nation, under Me.” -God-

The world is chock full of interesting and curious things. The point of courtship and marriage is to secure someone with whom you wish to go hand in hand through this source of entertainment, each making discoveries, and then sharing some and merely reporting others. ‘Why don’t you ever want to talk to me?’ will probably never start a satisfactory marital conversation. ‘Guess what?’ will probably never fail. -Judith Martin-

Beer is proof that God loves us and wants us to be happy. (attributed to Martin Luther, who actually said “I sit here and drink my good Wittenberg Beer, and the Kingdom of the God comes all by itself.”)

Politics is the best show in America. I love animals and I love politicians, and I like to watch both of ’em at play, either back home in their native state, or after they’ve been captured and sent to a zoo, or to Washington. -Will Rogers-

Don’t take it personally, stupid.

“What part of “Thou shalt not…” didn’t you understand?” -God-

We automate unto stupidity.

Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.