Plop, plop, fizz, fizz, oh what a relief it is! -(Alka Seltzer)-

I gotta have a reason for everything? -Calvin, “Calvin & Hobbes”-

Never do today what you can put off till tomorrow.

Screw the torpedoes, slow speed ahead. -Rear Admiral Francis W. Rockwell, 11 May, 1943-

I never saw a purple cow, I never hope to see one. But if I had my druthers, I’druther see than be one.

A classic is something that everybody wants to have read and nobody wants to read. -Mark Twain-

They say the average taxpayer works more than four months out of every year for the government, which is very disturbing. We’re not even sure the people who work for the government work four months out of every year for the government. -Montana Oil Journal, as cited in November, 1996 Reader’s Digest-

Thank God for the last minute. Otherwise, a lot of stuff wouldn’t get done.

Winston, you are drunk, and what’s more you are disgustingly drunk. -Bessie Braddock- Bessie, my dear, you are ugly, and what’s more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly. -Winston Churchill-