West Virginia farmer to tourist: See them hills? the rocks is four billion and three years old. Tourist: That’s amazing accuracy! Farmer: Yep. Some feller from the university was here and he sez them rocks was made four billion years ago, and that was exactly three years ago, come this April.

Well, who better to play Nazis than we Jews? (Schultz is not a Nazi. I see Schultz as the representative of some kind of goodness in any generation.) -John Banner-

What happens when blondes move from Kentucky to West Virginia? Both states become smarter.

While it plays an important role, technology is not synonymous with innovation. -LT Andreas Xenachis, USNR-

When I was a child, I thought nap time was punishment. Now it’s like a mini vacation.

Embrace SNAFU because it’s not FUBAR yet.

File this one under “things you want to be careful when saying it to your boss.”

I do therefore invite my fellow citizens in every part of the United States, and also those who are at sea and those who are sojourning in foreign lands, to set apart and observe the last Thursday of November next, as a day of Thanksgiving and Praise to our beneficent Father who dwelleth in the Heavens. -Abraham Lincoln-

We can never replace a friend. When a man is fortunate enough to have several, he finds they are all different. No one has a double in friendship. -Johann Schiller-

What if God designed marriage to make us holy instead of happy? -Gary Thomas-