A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kickboxing. -Emo Philips-

I’m not a fatalist; even if I were, what could I do about it? -Emo Philips-

Husbands are the best people to share your secrets with. They’ll never tell anyone because they aren’t even listening. -found on Facebook-

All men’s miseries derive from not being able to sit in a quiet room alone. -Blaise Pascal-

The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance you won’t go to work tomorrow. Alcohol gives you 1 in 5. -found on Facebook-

Space has been conquered. -Gerald S. Hawkins, “Splendor in the Sky,” 1961-

Only those who attempt the absurd … will achieve the impossible. -M.C. Escher-

All men should make coffee for their women. It says so in the Bible: “Hebrew.” -found on Facebook-

You Know You’re Drinking Too Much Coffee When … Your life’s goal is to amount to a hill of beans.

I don’t use drugs, my dreams are frightening enough. -M.C. Escher-