You’ve got a point there but if you wear a hat nobody will notice.

Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but they have to check when you say the paint is wet?

All wiyht. Rho sritched mg kegtops awound?

A lady walked up and said to Calvin Coolidge “I’ve bet my husband I can make you say 3 words this evening” to which he replied “You lose”.

A M00se once bit my sister … Mynd you, m00se bites Kan be pretty nasti … -Monty Python-

An ounce of emotion is equal to a ton of facts. -John Junor-

Winston, you are drunk, and what’s more you are disgustingly drunk. -Bessie Braddock- Bessie, my dear, you are ugly, and what’s more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly. -Winston Churchill-

What it all comes down to is, dyslexics have more nuf.

Here are two tickets to my new play. Bring a friend, if you have one. -George Bernard Shaw- Sorry, but I can’t make it to the opening night performance. Please send me tickets to the second performance, if there is one. -Winston Churchill-

Mr. Churchill, must you fall asleep while I’m speaking? -long winded speaker- No, it’s purely voluntary. -Winston Churchill-