When you have eliminated the impossible, whatever remains, however improbable, must be the truth. -Arthur Conan Doyle-

Democracy is the theory that the common people know what they want, and deserve to get it good and hard. -H.L. Mencken-

Drive a hybrid! My Mustang needs your gas.

When in doubt, punt.

If a parsley farmer is sued, do they garnish his wages? Only if he loses.

Is it possible to be totally partial? No, but it’s possible to be partially total.

I want to die in my sleep like Grandpa, not like the screaming passengers in his car.

Why is it we drive on a parkway but park in a driveway?

Most jobs are mind numbing, except for teachers whose job it is to numb minds.

Boy, am I glad that the hole is in your end of the boat.