Give me coffee. I can sleep when I’m dead. -Todos Santos Iglesia Luterana, Zapopan, Jalisco-

If you think there is good in everybody, you haven’t met everybody.

Generally, women don’t dress up, do their hair and wear makeup to impress guys; they do it to impress their girlfriends. And generally, guys say they spend a lot of money or time on their cars to impress girls but really it gratifies themselves more than it impresses any woman. Still, both do these things.

We’ve got to get off of this planet -Douglas Adams-

One-seventh of your life is spent on Monday.

I left Earth three times, and found no other place to go. Please take care of Spaceship Earth. -Wally Schirra-

Girls are just different. -Chuck Roome-

Get your facts first, and then you can distort them as much as you please. -Mark Twain-

Why is it when we talk to God we’re said to be praying, but when God talks to us, we’re said to be schizophrenic? -Lily Tomlin-

♫ Sometimes you feel like a nut ♪ / Sometimes you don’t ♪ / Almond Joy’s got nuts ♪ / Mounds don’t ♪ / because … ♫