You can safely assume that you’ve created God in your own image when it turns out that God hates all the same people you do. -Anne Lamott-

If Jesus is the light there won’t be any power failure. -South Conway Road Baptist Church, Orlando, Florida-

History never repeats itself, but the Kaleidoscopic combinations of the pictured present often seem to be constructed out of the broken fragments of antique legends. -Mark Twain-

Handle every stressful situation like a dog. If you can’t eat it or play with it just pee on it and walk away.

If I should ever die, God forbid, let this be my epitaph: THE ONLY PROOF HE NEEDED FOR THE EXISTENCE OF GOD WAS MUSIC. -Kurt Vonnegut-

It is chiefly through books that we enjoy intercourse with superior minds. -William Ellery Channing-

O innocent victims of Cupid, / Remember this terse little verse: / To let a fool kiss you is stupid, / To let a kiss fool you is worse. -Yip Harburg-

What did the one earthquake say to the other earthquake? “It’s not my fault.” -Jenn Hilgeman-

Between two evils, I always pick the one I never tried before. -Mae West-

A B C D goldfish. L M N O goldfish. O S A R