He’s everything she looks for in a man. He’s single. -Andy Taylor, “The Andy Griffith Show”-

¿Cómo va la carrera de ratas? Las ratas están ganando.

By the time you make ends meet, they move the ends.

Status is the public knowledge that you possess assets that would allow you to help others if you wished to. -Steven Pinker-

The more you run over a dead squirrel, the flatter it gets.

There is always one more imbecile than you counted on.

Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.

If you can smile when things go wrong, you have someone in mind to blame.

All things being equal, fat people use more soap.

There is absolutely no substitute for a genuine lack of preparation.