What it all comes down to is, dyslexics have more nuf.

Here are two tickets to my new play. Bring a friend, if you have one. -George Bernard Shaw- Sorry, but I can’t make it to the opening night performance. Please send me tickets to the second performance, if there is one. -Winston Churchill-

Mr. Churchill, must you fall asleep while I’m speaking? -long winded speaker- No, it’s purely voluntary. -Winston Churchill-

Every time you assume characters are ASCII, God kills a kitten. -Brian Gordon-

Winston, if you were my husband, I’d put poison in your coffee. -Nancy Astor- Nancy, if you were my wife I’d drink it. -Winston Churchill-

Women are to blame for the lies men tell when they keep on asking questions.

To keep your marriage brimming, With love in the loving cup, Whenever you’re wrong, admit it; Whenever you’re right, shut up. -Ogden Nash-

Where in the world is Carmen San Diego?

We may be lost but we’re making good time. I don’t know where we’re going but we’re getting there pretty fast.

Unless you are the lead dog, the view never changes.